Being a Working Mom

I used to ask my mum for permission to do things that I knew she wouldn’t approve of while she was working.

“Can I go out tonight?”

Tying typing typing “Uh huh. Sure.”

“Thanks.”

Typing typing typing “What time will you come back?”

“Three.” Knowing that my curfew was midnight.”

“Typing Typing Typing. Pause. “Ok, have fun.” 

Or I’d ask for money. She was always more generous when she was in a solid workflow. My siblings and I used to have contests to see how much we could get from her till she figured it out.

My daughter is five months old and I work from home. I work between 20 and 30 hours a week and those hours are squeezed into different time slots. Some days I wake up extra early and other days I stay up extra late. Though most days look like logging in and out for 20 minutes 17 times a day.

Like many people, Covid hit me pretty hard financially. I just happened to be overseas at the time. My now husband and I had been planning to live in Mexico six months and Canada six months. I had a lucrative business back home that I could integrate him into, and we would be set. The plan was fail-safe. Therefore, I made a ton of investments in 2019 knowing that the return would be guaranteed. 2020 was going to be the year.

Hehehe

Well, we all know what happened next.

I’ve been a serial entrepreneur for most of my life, but after the big fall, I couldn’t seem to bounce right back up. I would get these brilliant ideas, start to formulate them, but then get discouraged. I realize now that I was experiencing a mourning of my former self. It took me a while to process everything. I’m still digging myself out of the financial hole that I put myself in. Though for the first time in a while I feel that I can look at my bank account and not immediately hyperventilate.

…

My mum worked in an office. I’m she had some fancy title though if I’m honest as a kid I never understood what she did. Most children don’t think about what their parents do. They just know that “They go to work”. It is part of their day, like school is a part of theirs. In the early 2000s my mum made herself a home office. She was working through her Masters degree online and needed a dedicated work space. It was a beautiful room, full of plants and windows. A place I would love to work out of now as an adult.

Though I remember feeling complicated about this new-found space of hers. It was hard to get her attention and I remember feeling replaced by this ethereal concept of work. Suddenly, work was not just at the office, work was at home. Work could interrupt dinner and work was full of paper.

I decided that I would never work in an office and I would definitely never have a home office. Therefore, the service sector called me, Food and Hospitality, Child and Youth Care and Entertainment. And although I’ve had to use a computer for parts of my work, using a computer had never been my work.

In the 6th month of my pregnancy I was offered an online job managing the social media presence and team building for a growing company. It was an amazing offer and an answer to a long awaited prayer, financial relief.

What an amazing opportunity! I remember getting off the interview call and jumping up and down. They didn’t mind that I was pregnant. They didn’t mind that I couldn’t work regular hours. They were excited about having me join the team in the form that I could offer. Pretty amazing!

Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

That said, I’ll be honest, working at home is hard. Being a working mom and dividing my time between my magical ball of chub and scrolling on social media for marketing purposes is tough. Although, I am grateful for the intellectual stimulation, I struggle with the amount of time I am required to spend in front of a computer or on my phone.

And although sometimes I fantasize about quitting and opening up an Alternative School for Magical Beings, I know I am not quite at that stage yet.

At the end of the day though, I’m learning how to be in balance. To accept the contradiction. Work is a part of my daily life. It is a part of my home life. It is a part of my mom life.

Some days when I am in a super nice work flow and I’m totally in the zone and I just want to coast and coast and coast.

… I hear it…. There is some kind of interruption.

… and I have to stop.

And sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes, I have been working on something all day long and I just want to finish the last little part.

.. And then I hear her again…

And I remember that my daughter needs me right now. She needs to feel that the world is safe. That when she is upset, I’ll be there.

I know I can’t be there all the time… But, one of the gifts of working from home is being able to be there most of the time.